journal update! Life lessons time! Because I’ve been thinking WAY too damn much recently. I spend all day at work, but ‘m not actually AT work.. I’m totally just in my head. Can’t stop my brain from going a mile a minute. And lately I’ve been contemplating a ton of things related to friends, family, love, and just general life issues, mainly dealing with people.. Since I suppose nobody can get by life without having people there too.
So here’s some steps and pointers to be a really awesome person… Or at least to help you not suck as hard. Some of them will be pretty damn simple, but trust me, the simple ones are probably the most important.
Also — This is a bit of a sloppy list.. I dunno if I care, but if anyone shows enough interest in it, I might fix it up and stuff.. I doubt anyone will really care though. xD This is just a rough draft of what’s going thru my brain, so organizing it will have to come later.
::Lesson 1:: Be Honest.
Simple, right? Yeah, you learn this shit before you even learn to read, or wipe your own ass. ;P Lying is bad. From the “little white” to the huge extravagant. And this isn’t just about lying to other people. People never really think about lying to themselves when they consider lying being wrong. But in order to be honest with everyone else, and to enjoy life, you have to be honest with yourself first.
::Lesson 2:: Say what you mean.
This seems to be the bane of my existence. I don’t understand why people can’t just say what they actually mean, rather than making up some elaborate story or excuse… Or trying to sugar coat things. There’s no real benefit to these things. If you need to say something, just say it. Of course, there’s a time and place factor. And being too blunt can hurt other people. But beating around the bush, making excuses, or prettying things up never really helps anything. If it’s on your mind, and you think it’s important, speak up. Because everyone has an opinion, and everyone is equally entitled to it.
::Lesson 3:: Don’t play the messenger/mind your own business.
Another huge issue that ticks me off to no end. Sometimes, friends will think they’ll help out their friends by butting into something that they have no place in. This very rarely, if ever, helps. People putting their nose into other people’s business – meaning to help – usually ends up causing even more problems that were never there before. Because there is always misinformation being passed around, misinterpretations cause more problems.. And let’s face it. If you and a friend were having an issue, and they told another friend, and that other friend butted in and started telling you what you’re doing wrong.. It’d just make everything worse, right? So when put in a position where you’d be the one butting in on someone else’s business – just don’t.
::Lesson 4:: Don’t gossip/take your problems to the source.
The flip side to the coin on lesson 3. Basically said, if you have an issue with someone, don’t go around talking to EVERYONE ELSE about it. It’s the worst thing you could possibly do! Then other people get involved, and gossip starts… The best (and most mature) thing you could possibly do, is take your issues right to the person(s) you have them with. Talk it out directly. Trust me, it works wonders. Even if it doesn’t work out immediately, it will work itself out much faster and easily without getting other people involved. Talking shit behind other people’s backs is never appreciated.
::Lesson 5:: Direct your anger accordingly.
It’s inevitable, everyone will get pissed off at some point, at their friends, lover, family, etc. Shit happens. But don’t let your anger get the best of you. When angry, people can say or do things they’ll later (or sometimes even immediately) regret. Take a breather, find something you can direct your anger at for a while (for me, it’s a journal I started recently… When my thoughts start to get the best of me.. I sit down and write everything out, it’s amazing how much it clarifies things!) then come back to the issue at hand when you’ve sorted out your thoughts a bit.
This also applies to being angry at the right person – it’s never fair to anyone you may accidentally snap at. If you’re angry with someone, as above, make sure you’re angry at THEM, not at anyone who happens to enter the room while you’re pissed off. 
::Lesson 6:: Think before you speak.
So you don’t end up shoving your foot in your mouth. It happens. Everyone at some point will probably spout off something really stupid without thinking first – hurt people’s feelings, offend people, or just plain piss them off. That’s why it’s best to think about what you’re saying, and how it will affect other people, before you go ahead and say it. It’s really simple to know you’re supposed to do it.. But apparently everyone has a hell of a time keeping up with this one.
::Lesson 7:: Learn to place yourself in another’s shoes.. properly.
Strong empathy is a gift. (Also a curse, sometimes, trust me.) Being able to actually relate to, or feel how another person feels, isn’t really something everyone can do very well, but anyone can think “what would I do if this happened to me?”… Of course, everyone’s take on things is different too, so even if you think maybe you’d react a certain way, it’s not necessarily the way someone else would.
This one’s a bit of a double-edged sword if not used properly, though. Some people don’t have the ability to consider how another person feels. Others don’t have the knowledge of how to deal with things they think will upset others. Overly sensitive people will worry TOO much about hurting other people, and then end up hurting them even more, or hurt themselves, which isn’t good either. You have to learn how to judge the situation. For example, if you wanted to break up with someone, but didn’t want to do it because you’d hurt them.. Consider how much MORE it would hurt them if you weren’t honest, let it drag on longer and longer.. Until it ended anyway, but they’d be more hurt to find out that you’d actually just been forcing yourself to be with them for all that time.
::Lesson 8:: Respect!
Simple. Others, AND yourself. Because you count too. Never disrespect yourself, it won’t ever result in anything good for you.
::Lesson 9:: Theory of relativity.
Remember that your point of view isn’t necessarily the same as everyone else’s. Even something called the “truth” is relative. Something that is the “truth” can be perceived in different ways, depending on how it was looked at. Keep these things in mind before pointing fingers or calling down someone else’s opinion.. Just because you think they’re wrong, doesn’t mean that they necessarily are. They might just have a different view on it.
::Lesson 10:: Get all sides of the story.
Related to lesson 9, but when dealing with multiple people. Before passing judgement (which shouldn’t really be done anyway.. nobody likes to be judged.. But for lack of a better word…) make sure you hear all of what happened – from everyone involved. Different perspectives can show you a lot of different things you’d never notice from just one side. Never jump in without knowing all of what’s involved.
::Lesson 11:: Live life to the fullest, don’t hold back!
It’s the best lesson anyone can teach. Don’t hold back in anything you do. Be honest with, and respect yourself. Because if you don’t, then nobody else will. Don’t let anyone bring you down, and do your best not to bring anyone else down either. Remember that there will always be someone who is willing to listen to you, but don’t be upset if they don’t agree with you. Because their opinion is their own, just as yours is yours.
Don’t stop yourself from doing things before you try. You never know what you can or can’t do until you find out first hand! Always let the people you care about know that you do – tell them, or do things to show them. But don’t allow yourself to be used by those that are only there to take advantage of a caring person.
Never deny yourself love. If you love someone, tell them. The worst they can do is not return the same feelings as you.. But at least you let them know, because if they were to die tomorrow, they’d never have known you cared about them.
Do everything you want, while being respectful of others. Stay positive, look up, fly high.. Love as if you have no fear of being hurt, Enjoy yourself as if there’s nobody there to judge you… remember that everyone else is human too, and we all do strange little things that others don’t understand, so don’t be embarrassed to do the things you enjoy.
If the world were to end tomorrow, live today so that you could leave the world happy. :3
And it’s late so I’m done being hokey for now. If anyone has any questions, concerns, or feels like telling me to shove it, feel free. Though, if the third option is exercised, I may be apt to ignore it. XD
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